Many times I did not love myself so I allowed myself to received love from men thinking they could rescue me and love me. None of my relationships worked out, and I kept going from one man to another and females too. I drank heavily from age 21 to 25 and always thought of things to get myself out of situations, thinking I was just lucky. Around 22 or 23 I allowed myself to get in a situation with an older man thinking he would love me and marry me but instead he hurt me and cheated on me. After that relationship, I was single and decided just to have fun and I told myself I don't want to get married and I don't ever want kids. "I'm fine by myself."
I don't really remember, but I think I got so drunk one night I passed out at the lounge and drove home which was really stupid, but I made it home safely. I went to bed but I was crying hard praying to GOD to help me. I remember asking GOD to "please send me a man." Yes, out of all things I asked GOD to send me a man. But I also was praying to GOD that I don't want to go through the drama I was going through anymore, especially with men, and that I was sorry for every sin I have committed, and to please give me another chance and to forgive me.
I have to say GOD answered my prayer. Not too long after that prayer, GOD sent me someone truly special, my boyfriend, that I have been with for two and half years now. I know GOD sent me this special man to save me before I hit rock bottom; wait, the story doesn't stop there. I have been with my boyfriend who I know loves me dearly, but I was hiding something that could have destroyed the both of us. Like I said before I have been with a lot of men, and have had sexually transmitted diseases but only got tested for HIV once. But when I got into this relationship I didn't get tested, but my boyfriend did twice and it was negative both times. I was thinking to myself, "Well, I don't have to get tested because he is negative", but I knew that wasn't true. Just because the other person is negative doesn't mean you are, so after two and half years it was eating me up so bad, I decided to get tested for HIV. I went to my boyfriend that night and told him I took a test for HIV and the results would be available the next day. My boyfriend was pretty mad at me that night and the next day because he thought that I had already taken one before we got into a relationship. I didn't blame him at all because I put both of us at risk. I cried so hard and prayed so hard for two days that GOD would heal me. I prayed and prayed and He did heal me; my test turned out to be negative. Thank you GOD.
I have always prayed and I thank GOD for my blessings and I just have to say GOD is listening. GOD hears you when you pray and he knows when you are hurting, and when you think you are going through something, please turn to GOD. GOD loves you and he wants you to be with Him. Put GOD first in everything you do. Have faith and don't ever lose faith because GOD will hear you. I had to learn I am not lucky; I am BLESSED. I am thankful and I talk and pray to GOD all the time. I am still here today because of GOD and I will forever be thankful and I will never ever turn my back on GOD. I know it will be hard sometimes, but if you keep GOD first, you will make it. And to top that off, we will live forever in peace in heaven with GOD, when we leave earth.
Today I am happy. My boyfriend and I plan to get married and I want children more than ever. I never wanted to do that until I met my boyfriend that was sent to me by GOD and I will forever love GOD. I plan to help people in need (people with HIV, homeless people, children in need, people with diseases). I want to help everyone because I know that is my life purpose. JESUS CHRIST, OUR GREAT GOD, AND SAVIOR lives and is working miracles on us every minute. Please - I ask everyone to please believe and have faith in GOD. GOD LOVES YOU . . .
